Why did Nasir join the guerrillas?
M Nasir, interviewed by Nug Katjasungkana
Where are you from?
I was born in Bali in 1975. My parents named me
Ketut Narto. I was the youngest of three. My parents died when I was
still small, and my two siblings disappeared until the present day. I
became a street kid. Then I met a policeman who adopted me. He changed
my name to Muhammad Nasir. But in the forest among the guerrillas my
name is Klik Mesak, which means 'odd-ball' since I was the only
Indonesian. When my father was sent to Baucau, Timor Lorosae, he took
me with him. In Baucau I finished my primary school in 1990. I then
moved to Dili where I studied as far as year two in senior high school.
How did you become involved in the Timor Lorosae freedom struggle?
When I moved to Timor Lorosae there were very few
outsiders. I mixed with the local kids. I became attracted by the
struggle. The Indonesian government said East Timor was the youngest
province, the 27th. So then why was there always trouble
here? I wanted to know. I read a history book. West Timor (Kupang) was
colonised by the Dutch, East Timor by the Portuguese. Indonesia was the
former Dutch colony. It can't just take East Timor. Perhaps if it was a
federation. I feel Indonesia robbed others of their rights. I wouldn't
want anyone to take away my rights. What's mine is mine, no one else
can have it.
Most of my friends supported independence. Some
were active in the clandestine movement. In 1995 Maun Afonso, my
adopted older brother and an independence supporter, took me to
Fatubessi. All the villagers there up to the village head were
independence supporters. The people were suspicious when they saw us.
Who are these strangers coming here? This village often got visits from
Rajawali [Kopassus] troops. When I asked the village head about it, he
said, 'Just the way it is, this is an operations area'.
After some time I met a Falintil member called Mau
Kulit, who followed Comandante Dudu of North Sector, Region 4. After
that the villagers stopped being suspicious of me. I became an estafeta
[runner] for Falintil, whose job was to carry letters, food, look for
information and so on. I lived in Fatubessi and became a primary school
teacher. Some of my ex-students are now in junior high school.
What made you decide to fight for Timor Lorosae's independence?
In 1995 my step-father was transferred to Oecussi
to become the deputy police commander there. I stayed behind in Dili
with the West Dili police chief, a Javanese man from Trenggalek whom I
called 'Uncle'. But I often mixed with the 'naughty boys' at the
markets and the bus terminal. I made more and more friends. Some were
in the clandestine. So were most of my Baucau friends. One day in Dili
in 1995, a pro-independence demonstration happened near my school. All
the school kids joined in, from five different senior high schools. A
fight broke out with the new-comer kids from outside Timor Lorosae. I
had a rock and threw it. It happened to hit a policeman who knew me. He
looked at me and threatened: 'Look out, you be careful!' I was afraid
and ran away. When I got home at night, my room was locked from the
outside. I went in by the window and took my graduation certificate.
Then I stayed with a friend in Kampung Alor. I became scared and
confused when I heard the news on the radio about a disappearance,
mentioning my name. I wasn't game to go home, and I also didn't want to
cause trouble for the people who had adopted me. If I went back, my
step-father would certainly be punished because his adopted kid was in
a pro-independence demo.
That's when I got to know Maun Afonso, who took me
to live in his family's house in Fatubessi, the pro-independence
village where the resistance made me an estafeta. From two Falintil
members named Mario Kempes and Le�o Timur I got military lessons like
how to attack an enemy fortified position. I learned how to shoot guns
like the Mauser, M-16, AR-16, G-3 and the SKS. I can use a machine gun.
In 1997 Falintil decided to launch attacks against
TNI posts everywhere the day before the election. The TNI were saying
Falintil no longer existed. If there was no gunfire it would prove that
indeed Falintil was finished. In Fatubessi, the job went to the youths
(juventude). I was a juventude leader. We just had three grenades. Our
targets were the TNI post, the house of the village chief, and a shop
owned by the Catholic catechist. The village chief and the catechist
were our own people. We attacked them with a grenade without pulling
the pin. So they were safe. TNI didn't suspect them because they were
among our targets. TNI shot off an enormous amount of ammunition. But
none of us were hit. After that the soldiers arrested a lot of youths
and tortured them. I wasn't arrested because they didn't suspect me. I
was a primary school teacher.
I became a member of Falintil in 1998. At that
time leaders of the struggle like Region 4 Comandante Ular and Regional
Secretary Riak Leman and others went from village to village. I was
active in those meetings too. After that I spent most of my time at the
Falintil command. When many of the villagers fled because of
intimidation from the [pro-Indonesian] Besi Merah Putih militia, my
friends and I sent food. When the militias began to act up in Liqui�a,
I was often sent to Liqui�a town to meet with pro-independence youths.
When the clash occurred between Besi Merah Putih and the youths in
Liqui�a on 4 April 1999, I was in town. That night I joined a
sub-regional meeting with the Region 4 Deputy Secretary Qouliati. The
next day an attack occurred against the Liqui�a church. The youths were
only armed with arrows and swords. But the militias had automatic
weapons. Behind them were the TNI also with automatic weapons. I wasn't
in the church so I was OK. I tried to contact the Falintil command to
ask them to send troops to stop the militias and TNI at the church. But
news came from the city that should Falintil become involved all those
still in the church and those taken to the military base by the
militias/ TNI would be killed. So Falintil didn't come down.
After that I went back to Maun Afonso's house in
Fatubessi. They thought I had died in the church. Maun Afonso suggested
I not leave the village. 'If you're safe, we're safe. If anyone comes
looking for you, I'll say "Nasir has gone home to Bali."' After that I
stayed at Falintil command. Things improved once Unamet arrived. I was
able to go out and buy food and clothes for the guerrillas. On the day
of the referendum I was at the command post, while my guerrilla friends
voted.
Cruelty
Did any other Indonesians become guerrillas or join the underground resistance against the Indonesian occupation?
Jeffry, from Atambua in East Nusa Tenggara, now
lives in Ermera. He used to be a Falintil member in Region 4 under
Comandante Sabis. Ahmad, from Bima (Sumbawa), also lives in Ermera now.
He was an estafeta since the 1980s. Lots of others quietly supported
the movement by donating stuff to the clandestine. Ramlan, for example,
from Sumatra. He is dead. Lots of them I don't know where they are.
What do you think of Indonesian soldiers?
I don't have vengeful feelings. What I don't like
are the abuses they commit. Just imagine, we are the hosts here, and
they come and step on us continually. I don't like that. The soldiers
come to Timor Leste on instructions from their superiors to look for
Falintil guerrillas. But the ones they arrest are just ordinary young
people, uneducated and who don't speak Indonesian. Maybe they're
carrying a small knife or a machete. Men in Timor Lorosae always carry
a knife. They were sometimes tortured to death. Instead of going up
into the forest, soldiers told to go and find Falintil would just go
into the villages. They took peoples' cattle, chickens. Those who
protested were called rebels.
Indonesia said they wanted to root out evil
communists. But those doing the rooting out were even worse. They even
attacked a place of worship like the church in Liqui�a. Before I joined
the independence movement I often saw Indonesian cruelty. When I was
still living at the West Dili police station I saw the police arrest
innocent people. During interrogation they would torture them so bad
that they confessed. That's not good.
It's true that Indonesia brought development even
to remote areas. But many officials were corrupt. What was wrong they
called right, what was right they called wrong. That's what made people
dissatisfied. I didn't like it either.
I think that if after the referendum Indonesia had
given up Timor Lorosae properly, without giving weapons to the
militias, the Timorese would have been very grateful to Indonesia. That
one Indonesian act not only caused great loss to the people of Timor
Lorosae but also to the people of Indonesia. The money was wasted on
militias when the Indonesian people needed it very much.
What are your hopes for the future of Timor Lorosae?
For me the important thing is that people should
be safe and there should be justice. If I'm allowed I want to live in
Timor Lorosae. I have a wife and she is pregnant with our first child.
Right now I feel my rights have not been
fulfilled. Almost all my ex-Falintil friends who weren't accepted into
the Timor Lorosae armed forces were given US$500 in assistance, but I
didn't. I was sick for the test so didn't get in. I know we didn't
fight to get this or that job, but for our independence and our rights.
But it's strange all the same.
For little people like myself, the important thing
for the future is that the people have enough to eat and enjoy freedom.
I hope President Xanana Gusmao will remember that.
Recorded in Kampung Alor, Dili, 24 April 2002. Nug Katjasungkana (manu_mean@yahoo.com) is a human rights activist in Dili.
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